So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
