I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
