awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
