I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
