margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
