I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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