this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
