I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
