you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
