And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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