I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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