idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
sex in a hospital.. check
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
