when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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