I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize