Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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