Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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