I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize