you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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