what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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