I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
