If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
