you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
