mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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