this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
