He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
