i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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