He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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