Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
