hotel room ftw
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
