I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
