yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
