Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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