Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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