I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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