I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
