I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Welp...herpes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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