operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
