Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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