It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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