yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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