i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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