idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
