May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How does one acquire holy water?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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