Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
