Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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