Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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