Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
