the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize