Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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