Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
