I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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