lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
