Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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