We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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