i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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