I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
