Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
